92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed
each morning by eight o'clock, with his hair fashionably coifed and shaved
perfectly applied, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing
home today. His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move
necessary.
After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home,
he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready.

As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual
description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on
his window.

"I love it," he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having
justbeen presented with a new puppy.

"Mr. Jones, you haven't seen the room; just wait."
>
"That doesn't have anything to do with it," he replied.

"Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my
room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged ... it's how I
arrange my mind. I already decided to love it "It's a decision I make
every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in
bedrecounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no
longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.
>
Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I'll focus on the new
day and all the happy memories I've stored away. Just for this time in my
life.
>
Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you've put in.
>
So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank
account of memories! . Thank you for your part in filling my Memory
bank. I am still depositing." Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
>
> 1. Free your heart from hatred.
> 2. Free your mind from worries.
> 3. Live simply.
> 4. Give more.
> 5. Expect less.
>
Live life to the fullest, you only get one time around.

Dec 31, 2005

Sometimes in life people are aware of what will happen in there lives, at other times people are happy with mild changes, then there are those time the clouds part you can truly thank the powers that be that you are alive.  Well, I've seen tragedy, happiness, life satisfying events, setbacks, love, hate, life and death, fear & rage; but hasn't everyone. 

It's all a matter of perspective. 

Isn't the rich man worshipped for the happiness they must feeling to be rich, have you ever a happy rich?  I can't imagine many.  It is the happy man that you find happy with what they have, even if he is not financially set or even stable in a career.  If happiness can be found in poverty, that is the rich man.

I've been both successful and a complete failure at a couple of things in my life, and sometimes both at the same time.  I've been happy and in utter despair.

I am feeling an unmistakably contentment.  It is not too often events can be clear enough to show these things clarily.  Several men have expressed these things but many do not try, but most don't have a clue.

I have been very fortunate to be involved and commited to the best woman, best friend a man could ever ask for.  She is supporting when is deversing to be supported.  She is strong when many would brake from the pressure.  I have received a gift from merely knowing her, but to have shared body and soul with another person, that is beyond value.   I have loved before, some fleeting, most unrequited, many sincere but through it all I have seen nothing that compares to the feelings I have felt recently.

We have joked about destiny and rendez-vous' being karma but I see life as rewarding those that live with true life fulfillment.  I have felt fulfilment infrequently in my life, it is not something many can predict.  I would never have believed that happiness was possible while struggling, buy I say it again.  I AM HAPPY.

My woman, my soulmate, my best friend, my wife.  Are there other terms, any with more meaning?  Maybe I should create one?  One that mildly describes how I about my WIFE.

That being said, did I earn this contentment?  Is the price paid or have I yet to reap the wrath of the fates?  I hope for this to last long enough to enjoy it.  Do I believe this?  I used to, but not since my best friend brought me back to life.  A rich life.  A love her, no wait, what means more than that?  What ever that is.  That is how I feel about her.  With my body and soul, all my heart.

I hope she knows how I feel to have her with me for life!

I have always wanted to maintan a journal but never have.  It is probably due to my difficulty with defining my emotions.

I enjoy writing but I am very self-conscious of my writing not being appreciated.  

I do not have very much experience with emotion.  I can tell if I am sad, happy, angry, nervous, etc but to explain how that makes me "feel" is another story.

That would probably sound weird to "normal" people but I find it very it "odd" to act emotionally out of instinct. 

If I am expected to act a certain way, if it is not learned, how am I suppose to know how to do it?